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#922

I Think I might be insane, or at least getting there. After 28 years in this world, I feel I have begun looking down on humans. Individual people can be truly fair, and not see their own little world as the center of the universe, but in my experience they are far, FAR outnumbered by animals who should have rational thought, but can't see past their own nose. Selfish, dumb animals only concerned with things like sex, money and prestige. Then you see someone who apear to give instead of take, but most do it to feel good about themselves, and have a clear conscience for the misery of the world. "The world is filled with hunger, and eddible food is being burned by the tons, but Im doing my part, so no worries". But I don't want to turn this into a rant on human stupidity. I have been a member of 'Mensa', yet I have no education beyond college. The jobs I've had are almost entirely manual labor, and I can't seem to endure more than a couple of years at a time (but I have the greatest respect for people who can) Nothing on these jobs are compatible with me. I feel like the work is mindnumbingly monotonous, and the people I work with have conversations that bare no interest to me at all. I have yet to quit a job, but always go when there's downsizing, and people are getting layed of. So this is where I am now. I have been told many times in the past that I was stupid, even my father. Teachers in the past (way past) have treated me like crap and some even hit me, or otherwise physically hurt me, for simply asking a question they, for some reason, recented me for. I almost always find it difficult to focus my thoughts, and things keep popping up in my mind, only to fade back into the shadows of my mind, before I can make sense of them. As I said Im 28 years old, in excellent physical condition and I've never had a girlfriend. A couple of offers, but no one I really knew so I declined. I don't want a purely physical relationship, because I am not an animal. Of cause I would like to have sex, but by no means will I compromise my beliefs for it. Im always alert, when there's people I don't know. If Im gonna pass anyone on the street, I plan out an order in which I take them out, should they start any trouble. Even if it appears to be a normal family with a father, mother and one or two children. I fear that one day I might throw myself in front of a bus, before I have time to think. The only reason Im still alive is that my death would sadden my friends and family, and I therefore have a responsibility to live on, until everyone who care about me are dead. I apologize for the wall of text, and If I have in any way offended anyone, but based on these thought, that I bare with me every day of my life. Im I insane?

Total 2 votes