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#975 [Feedback]

My boyfriend has just broken up with me saying he wants to 'take a break'. God knows, it was all my fault. I accused him of cheating, stupid, I'd trust him with my life. I started an arguement. I have so much stress in my life right now, somehow it flowed out and turned into anger. I said horrible, horrible things. I accused him of not caring, no effort, saying he could do so much better than me if he didn't care. Truth be told, I've been told I could do better than him. I don't believe its true. When I was stressed, I would have happily killed myself if I didn't want to hurt my family. I spent until 2 in the morning that night sending messages saying that I loved him and that I was sorry for being upset. The next day he wanted to talk to me. I'm a coward, I ran away knowing that I would break down crying if I talked to him. It then turned into him breaking up with me over the phone. He must think that I don't care, I've been trying to be brave all week - maybe looking abnormally happy. I phoned him an hour ago. Crying, saying sorry again, saying that I thought we deserved a second chance. He says he isn't sure, he doesn't know if he'll feel the same. Help me God, I love him. I'm not eating, crying everyday and praying constantly. I asked my friend to ask him if he really did only want to take a break. She said that he wasn't sure if he'd want me back if I behaved like that again. I don't understand what I've done. All the times he's said he loves me, saying how I'm the best part of his life - does this mean that it was a whole 4 months of lies? Forgive me God. I'll pay for my sins, but please, not by losing him.

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